It was a long time coming. They were actually positioning me for a promotion, but for detailed reasons that I would rather not elaborate on in bleeding-ear detail, corporate life is not for me. I served my eleven years, and learned a lot working for one of the most brand-name recognizable companies in the world. The job came with quite a bit of stress, and many years were rewarding. I discovered just how capable I am. How I could handle escalated situations, resolve technical issues, write procedural material, train, mentor, become the department subject matter expert, lead a team, etc. I became one of those valued employees in the department, recognized by directors, project leads, and leadership for my role in major projects within the company. And I started in the file room, a girl in a pair of tall, leather boots who ended up with cuts and bruises all over her arms as I merged thousands of files into filing cabinets.
Hey, you have to start somewhere.
I also learned that I wasn't happy. As great as I was at all those things, it didn't fulfill me. Writing did, so I kept at it. It's something I've been doing since I first shoved my writing desk into my closet at age 12 and made a make-shift office. Since I was 16 and got a typewriter for my birthday and declared in front of everyone that I was going to write a book someday. It's something I've been doing through my adult life and been able to incorporate even into my career. I've maintained a low profile (no pictures) because I did not want to risk jeopardizing my job for something I love.
Last year was pretty rough for me, and I've reached a point where I'm ready to move on. Actually stepping off the cliff and publishing my novels became the reason this is even possible.
What that means is: I'm going to be a full-time writer.
For now. We'll see how things are going in a year, but I hope with your support, that I can actually do what I love doing, and in turn, give you more stories. My options are wide open, no matter where life takes me. I told a friend of mine today that it felt good to take control of my life instead of being controlled by it.My family supports me, and it feels good to be following a different path in life where I can't see what lies ahead.
An inner peace has settled within me that I haven't felt in a long time. This was the right move. I'm still serving out my last weeks and working diligently to ensure my project is in capable hands when I transition a replacement into my role.
This means more writing time. I can tackle some of the side projects and write new ones that I've been stuffing in a box for lack of time. I also won't be working up to 19 hours a day and will reclaim some of my life back. Things will be tight for a while as I figure everything out, but I'd like to express my thanks to each of you for giving me the encouragement and moral support I've needed, even if you didn't know it.
I feel a bit like Silver at the end of Twist:
The bristles of his short hair made a scratching sound as he rubbed a hand across it. “Teach me what the colors mean. What is your mood?”
A deep shade of violet bled through the darkness, and I peered into the reflective band and saw that time stretched before me like an infinite road of possibility.
I lifted my chin and smiled.