Saturday, March 31, 2012

Tips for Writing

I've seen serious lists, and I could make a serious list, but I wanted to have a little fun with this.

1. When you walk back to your PC after you have heated up your dinner and noticed that it rebooted all by itself - don't panic. Chances are you didn't save your last edit before you got up. No biggie, just rewrite that entire chapter over again from memory!

2. When spraying a can of air like Endust in your keyboard and liquid shoots and and you hear something crackling, it's nothing to worry about.

3. Who needs to save copies on a flash drive, other PC, or an online storage site? Your computer will never ever break down.

4. Your keyboard can not only serve as a Chia Pet - storing cat hair in large quantities - but also a depository for potato chip crumbs. Nah, these won't hurt it. If the spacebar gets stuck, just bang on it.

5. There is a setting on your PC for adjusting how fast your cursor blinks. Sync it up with your heartbeat, because if you aren't typing any letters on that screen, you might as well make sure that your still alive.

6. Idioms? Who needs to look up the meaning. I know what it means! I know how to spell it! And if you think you can sit there and suggest that I don't know what I'm talking about, then you have another thinG coming.

7. Tears of lament for two hours wasted watching "Dancing with the Stars" while trying to write a chapter can be used to wipe the dirt off of your screen.

8. Make sure to use a lot of hippy dippy cool slang. Because your on the down low with the x generation and know what teens foshizzle want to scope with their peepers. You know how to use the slang - you're a pro! You hear it all the time on 80's movies. Rad slang never gets old.

9. There's no need to organize your thoughts on Word or Excel, or other software. You can jot down every bleeding thought on a post-it note (Front and back!). Writing is so much easier when your entire desk or table is covered with them. Plus you can make little paper airplanes when you're done.

10. Write your entire story in all caps. It will make everything you say seem more important.

Have a great weekend everyone - lots of smiles and reading! I'm taking breaks between drafting, reading, and running errands. If anyone thought the "Hunger Games" was worth checking out (who read the books), drop me a note and let me know!


  1. If that's what you think, you have another think/thing coming. Ahh, a great debate - which one is correct, think or thing.

    Think of it this way:

    If that's what you think, think again.
    If that's what you think, thing again.

    Which makes sense? My vote: If that'w what you think, you've got another think coming (as in think again)

    1. I'm not sure if it's the pronunciation of the word over the years or if its a generational thing. I believe that most people think its thing, and I wonder when it's written in a book as "think", if half the readers think it's a typo. ;-)