Tuesday, September 27, 2011

A Dark Cloud

Everyone has a bad day. The kind that makes you want to sing loud, aggressive music in the car at the top of your lungs. The kind that makes you question yourself - and that makes you even angrier. Then i circle back to where I am now in my life.

I work. One job I go to 8-5 (sometimes longer) and I get paid for it. The other I do at a keyboard when I get home and on weekends. I don't get paid much for it - that is entirely up to the reader and how much more they want of my stories now that I've unleashed Sterling into the world. I want nothing more than the reader to be just as excited about my characters as I am, and want to know where I plan to take them next. I've spent a lot of time building this world, and I have several series lined up. So far, "Sterling" is doing very well. It remains in the top 300 (sometimes top 100) in its category and that is such a cool thing to see.

Honestly, I forgot how much I loved writing. I found an old notebook that I kept from the 3rd or 4th grade with stories. One about a kid whose hair is accidentally died purple, another written from the perspective of a rock who is thrown at someones eye and tumbles down a hill. I remember writing stories on the old floppy disks (let that phrase take you back) and I have no idea where those went - probably lost. I kept to traditional paper for writing poetry but every so often a story ended up in there. It took me a while before I finally found my voice. Now I can't get the voices in my head to be quiet. ;-)

The real trouble lies in being at my first job, sitting at a keyboard when my mind is exploding with ideas. All I want to do when I'm there is go home and start writing or designing art.

If I won the lottery, I wouldn't buy expensive cars, go on extravagant trips, or purchase caviar just for the hell of it. I would be free to do the things that I love to do and that has always been important to me. It's the driving force of why I am always busy doing *something*. Not just writing - but every creative outlet I've had an interest in pursuing. The only things holding me back in life are time and budget.

I hope someday to overcome both of them.

And I take it back, I would like a new car. Its over 10 years old, the window doesn't roll down, my stereo was stolen and the transmission is questionable. Destiny - throw me a bone, will ya?

No comments:

Post a Comment